Should I Have Rules for My Kids?

Centered-Set parenting and family system leadership.

Should you have rules for your kids or should you let them do whatever they want? While those two extremes don’t convey all of the available options, what should a parent/child relationship be like? What does that require of parents? And how will that affect kids?

Taking cues from leadership techniques, a modern perspective of raising children involves examining the three overall approaches to parenting, centered versus bounded set philosophy, and intrinsic motivation.

Photo from canva.com; used with permission.

Full disclosure: I, as a parent, have rules for my kids. This writing is, therefore, biased and more of an offering of my approach than a general survey. But my approach comes through lots of exploration. And that short disclaimer doesn’t do justice to the complexity of how the sentiment actually unfolds in reality.

What I think you’ll find in this conversation is that there is no objectively correct way. There is, however, particular principles and techniques that are not only worth your attention but can be transposed into a variety of household contexts and a variety of other fields, as well.

Part One — A Brief History of Parenting